Waiters “correct” his pronunciation of food. The last time this happened was at Cava in Montecito, CA. I ordered Chilaquiles, pronounced chee-lah-KEE-lehs, and the waiter said, “You mean ‘chuh-leek-uh-lays’?” Picky just shook his head.
He hears those Macaroni Grill commercials boasting about their “artisan” food, including artisan pepperoni, artisan pasta and artisan half sandwiches. Artisan half sandwiches? Really?
Restaurants serve weak, stale coffee. Even nice restaurants are guilty of this. On a recent trip to San Francisco, Mr. Picky was pleasantly surprised by the incredible Moschetti coffee served at the wonderful Baker Street Bistro in the Presidio.
Restaurants serve you that processed parmesan that looks like the noodles in Cup A Soup Chicken Noodle Soup. Grated parmesan should look like this image to the left.
Restaurants serve you tap water. Nothing like lifting the glass to your face and getting a chlorine bomb.
Waiters vibe you for requesting a taste of wine (that’s available by the glass) before ordering a glass or bottle. If Mr. Picky is going to pay for a marked-up glass of wine he would like to know what it tastes like.
Restaurants only offer pepper shakers and not pepper grinders. Stale, moth-ridden pepper that has been ground into nothing, tastes like nothing. Reminds me of one of my favorite SNL skits.
White wine is served at room temperature. I’ve heard all of the arguments but Mr. Picky likes his white wine cold and his cheese at room temperature. Let the wine warm up in your mouth.
Restaurants bring your food before your wine or you have to wait for wine. Sometimes you can see it sitting on the bar and you want to sneak up and grab it.
Wine tasting rooms serve wine in those small, thick-lipped wine glasses you might find at Denny’s. Hey cheap-ass, wine DOES taste better out of nice wine glasses. If you cheap out on wine glasses, you’re not going to sell as much wine.
Waiters make you pack your own to-go container. Hello? You’re my waiter. How much would you like your tip reduced by?
Restaurants have “special” stemware for those who buy an expensive bottle of wine. Don’t you dare give me that thick-lipped goblet!